Don't I matter anymore?

This is a follow up from the previous blog post. Seems like I've been having rough days consecutively. If you haven't read my previous blog post, click here.

So, let us begin my second bad day. 

I feel very useless as of now. What's the point of me, if no one ever listens. 

Am I doing my job right? Because I'm not sure myself. Yes, I posted about my Inse"cure"ities, but let me rant for a while, kay? If you don't want to read on, its fine by me.

I feel like I'm easily ignored. People don't care about me at all. Its like my opinion doesn't matter. I feel so frustrated that all I can do is cry. I haven't cried so much in my life except for the year 2013 - where I think I cried the most.

I'm just, really tired ( excuses teenagers like me, gives ). I'm just surviving, not living. I think its been too damn long since I've actually been happy. I am grateful to what good things God has given me every single day. BUT, it also worries me that I am not able to handle my own self. Why am I so weak?

I can't even stand up for myself. I might as well be invisible and be free.

I just wish people would just listen to me for once, it wouldn't kill them, right?

What would you do if you felt like me right this moment? Some would probably just break down and cry, and maybe some wouldn't even be bothered to do anything.

I want to make a difference somehow. I don't want to be that girl who's just... meh.

I want people to respect me, even if its a little. I know I have to gain their respect first, but won't you feel frustrated too if they don't respect you at all, even though you're giving it your all?

I just can't take it anymore. Months and months feeling this way. I just can't escape from it.

I have been changing, but there's no participation from other people, how are we able to do it together. 

I couldn't take it anymore, I just started to cry because I felt unappreciated. Am I not needed? Because I'll be fine just to walk away from your life. Really. It seems that I'm 

pretty insignificant to you.

No matter how nice I am, how hard I try to please people, it just doesn't work, does it? I'm always the one getting pushed away like I'm nothing. And, I still don't choose to give up. Because I hate it when someone's upset. 

How ironic huh? I dislike seeing someone upset, yet I'm allowing myself to be. 

We'll just see what happens for the next few days, if it gets better, then good, but if it isn't, wasn't expecting it to be anyways.